Extracting from the Unconscious

Who am I? What has happened to me? It is when these two questions begin to prod us into self-assessments and appraisements that we might claim we have a real measure of value. After considering and taking a pensive mood on these two questions, we might probably ask ourselves, “What is my identity as a Filipino? Do I have an identity, in the first place?” The issue on Filipino identity remains controversial and still uncertain because many have insisted that we really have no true and real identity after being colonized for centuries by various countries. It is then difficult to identify what is pure when something is already hybrid. However, cultural identities cannot be ascribed to pre-given, irreducible, scripted, ahistorical cultural traits that define the conventions of ethnicity. According to Homi K. Bhabha, a leading figure in post-colonialism, the negotiation of cultural identity involves the continual interface and exchange of cultural performances that in turn produce a mutual and mutable recognition (or representation) of cultural difference. It is a complex, on-going negotiation that seeks to authorize cultural hybridities that emerge in moments of historical transformation. Thus, Filipinoness or Filipinohood is hybrid. Sounds depressing, I know. However, in this essay, I would seem to go away from those two opposing theories. Here, I will extract characteristics from the characters in the three selected short stories that can be used as a proof of Filipinoness or Filipinohood (not as a hybrid). These three short stories are “The Laughter of My Father” by Carlos Bulosan, “They Died…Because of a Song” by Enrique G. Centenera, and “The Prisoners” by Bienvenido N. Santos.
The Laughter of My Father is a story that on a wedding feast, a father chided his son in worry for being shy around the girls, and stated that maybe it was this particular son that he did not “touch” at childbirth. This revived one of his old boast that he touched his five sons at each of their childbirths, wherein he was able to pass his anting-anting, which made the women fall in love with them. At this point, the main character, dazed by wine, mustered up the courage to the other side of the river, where the bride said she left something. Afterwards, their return to the feast caused a commotion because the bride, accompanied by the main character, already wore an ordinary dress, where the bride explained that she changed clothes because she had wet her wedding garments after slipping on the footbridge as they made their way back from her house, and had it not been for the main character, she would’ve fallen into the river. Later, the dance and festivities were put to a halt as the main character’s father, laughing and crying with joy, and drunk with too much wine, teased the people who were energetically proclaiming that the bride has fallen in love with his son. The wedding was ruined, and the marriage was put off, the three guests (the main character, his father, and his cousin Nonoy) made their quick escape. Days later, the bride and her family went to the village of the main character’s father and powerfully imposed on the father that his son must be married to the girl. His proud father, who – after stalling the proposed marriage – proudly confided in his son that he had indeed touched him at childbirth then, immediately, sent the main character to America. A very distinct Filipino identity in this story is the belief on some kind of anting-anting that to touch one’s son is to pass on a charisma for women to chase after. This is one of the superstitious beliefs of Filipinos, especially from the barrios or from the provinces. Another thing here is the “happy-go-lucky” and “funny” character of the father. Filipinos are always in high spirits even in the midst of chaos or trouble. Now, because the father seems to believe he was not able to touch his son at birth, he drunk himself for that problem. This is very rampant among Filipino men to drink when there are problems that are difficult to solve. In addition, it is very obvious here in the Philippines that whenever there are celebrations, the one who is invited to come would invite another group or groups of people to come with him or her to that celebration. This one is presented even at the start of the story. Finally, for this story, Filipinos are very sensitive on reputation and dignity. This is proven when the family of the bride forced the boy to marry her because the original groom had left her, thinking that she has lost her reputation as a timid woman because she is “in-love” with other man. The groom is sensitive on this part and so is the bride that is why they want him to marry her to, in a way, pay and compensate on the lost of status and dignity. Therefore, in this story, Filipinoness is defined as something in the beliefs and the actions of Filipinos. It has been shown that Filipinos believes in superstitions, finds grace amidst chaos, (men) are drinkers when it comes to thorns and thistles in life, “company goer” and very sensitive when it comes to dignity.
They Died Because of a Song is a tribute to a band of guerillas who were hiding in a portion of the forest when their Sergeant, Millar, unexpectedly, sang a melodic love song aloud with his guitar. As he quieted down and regained his senses, he reminisced about the life and wife he left behind. Mascardo, the captain of the band, went over to his side and gave him an insulting and accusing words and slap on the cheek, being so exasperated that he had given away their hiding spot to Japanese soldiers who were raiding close tot their area. Captain Mascardo whipped out his revolver and as he was about to kill Millar, enemy gunfire suddenly exploded all around them. The rebels dropped to the ground and returned fire, while Captain Mascardo cursed a lot when he discovered that his revolver was empty. Sergeant Millar gave his handgun to Mascardo and courageously recommended the Captain and the rest of the men to escape, while he would stay and hold off the enemy. Mascardo’s hatred for Millar immediately disappeared; he asked for forgiveness from this courageous man, and he said that they would not retreat and that if they were to die, they would die together. Hence, they did die together. Obviously, what is shown here is that Filipinos tend to be “homesick” or “lovesick” causing them to be emotional. This was the very reason why Millar unexpectedly sang in the middle of the forest. Today, we can see and hear stories from OFWs who frequently call their families because they do miss and love them. Most importantly, the sense of oneness or unity (pagkaka-isa and pakikisama) is depicted here as the band died together. Filipinos really have one accord and the most popular example of this is “bayanihan”. Another example is the EDSA Revolution where all Filipino people were unified for one purpose (even if they would die) to oust Marcos from his position or throne. In this story, it is to live and to die together as one. Thus, Filipinos have a sense of “togetherness” and “oneness” even until death. Therefore, in this story, Filipnoness is defined as something of the character. It has been presented that Filipinos, more often than not, become homesick and lovesick whenever he/she is away from his/her family or beloved and do have something unique and distinct characters – oneness, unity and togetherness (pagkaka-isa and pakikisama) even until death just to defend ones’ country and fight back until the last drop of blood – compared to other countries.
The Prisoner is a story of a respected man who temporarily stayed in a college campus in Kansas because of a snowstorm, who was temporarily detained in the United States because of the war. It was Christmas Eve. As he lay down comfortably on his bed, he remembers his family in the Philippines and he missed them a lot. The next Christmas morning, he met and chatted with the German prisoners of war that were lodged in the same building. He took an interest to one prisoner, who spent quite a long time breaking the ice at the fountain to save the trapped fishes inside. Some of the Germans remarked that he, too, was a prisoner, for he couldn’t go back to his home in the Philippines due to the war. The other German, meanwhile, had placed the stiff fish on a tumbler and muttered to himself that the fish would still live, and that there was still hope. Later in the evening, the main character packed his bags and prepared to leave when he learned that the railway station was now open and the snowstorm was over. As he departed, he waved goodbye at the dark window of the German prisoner’s dormitory, for he thought that they might be looking out through the windows. This story proves that Filipinos are hopeful. The major character in the story, even if he is in America, still hopes to come back to the Philippines. In line with this, Filipinos tend to miss ones family so they would struggle if they cannot come back immediately or be depressed as what the character experienced. In addition, we can see here that Filipinos would believe that there really is no place like home and this is proven when he reminisced the happenings that he had in his motherland. Finally, what is intriguing here is defining Filipinos as “prisoners”. The ones who defined this are the Germans. In this case, I would like to use the term “foreign” because foreigners see us or define us differently. When it comes to their definition, I believe, it is not credible because, in the first place, they only know a bit of us. The ones who have the right to define our identity is no other than us because we are Filipinos. We have all the right to define our national and cultural identity, our Filipinoness or FIlipinohood. We should not believe everything they say to us. The thing that I can immediately associate to this is our history. Our history in the Philippines is not observed and written from the viewpoint or perspective of a Filipino but of the Western Authors. It may be good but it really is something different when it comes from the worldview of a Filipino because we do think differently from them. For these reasons, I think, in some ways, we are caged because we are still neocolonized by the Western culture, language, belief and language. Perhaps, this is an interesting definition that we are “prisoners” and because we are prisoners, we have the difficulty of defining who we are. We have to get out of the cell first and then try to examine who we are. Until then, we could define our identity as Filipinos. Filipinohood, therefore, in this story, is defined as something of character, thinking and to the extent of identity. This part exposes that, again, Filipinos are homesick and lovesick whenever away (as proven in the reminiscing part) and that we are somehow “prisoners” (and because we are such, we suffer and struggle even until now to be free and to identify oneself).
I am therefore that we, as Filipinos, do have identity and it is up to us to dig and define it. We are just unconscious about these that is why we seem to find none. However, if we, with all effort, time and energy, scrutinize and extract, we really can find not only one, not only two but also numerous just like what I just did and found out.

The Precariousness of the Human Condition as Reflected in Five Filipino Short Stories

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is,
and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.”
- John Allen Paulos-


“Still no job until now,” this was the e-mail subject of one of my close friends. After graduation in college, he tried everything to look for a job. Then in his message, he wrote, “I thought I was certain that education would help me land on a job.” Just like him, man’s condition is uncertain. This is even confirmed by John Keats, a famous English poet, as he said, “The imagination of a boy is healthy, and the mature imagination of a man is healthy; but there is a space of life between, in which the soul is in a ferment, the character undecided, the way of life uncertain, the ambition thick-sighted.” Moreover, an American Baptist Minister and Civil-Rights Leader, Martin Luther King, Jr. asserted that “All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.” I believe nobody would argue on those. In fact, the only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty—not knowing what comes next. Human condition is precarious in various respects because it has no guarantee. This is reflected in five Filipino short stories.
First, in The Distance to Andromeda, man is precarious about the end of the world. A boy, named Ben, after watching a movie on a theater, is terrified. He is bothered by the horrific scenes on the screen—the last men and women on earth preparing to leave for another planet because the earth is being destroyed. These images keep on haunting him, even when he’s playing and walking around with his friends, kid around his niece, and talk to his mother. He can’t help but be afraid. Whenever he asks anyone if what happened in the movie is going to really happen, nobody seems care. The situation terrifies him even more now because he is uncertain of what will happen to him, to his friends, and to his family when the world ends. Yet at the end, he finally finds peace through the love and care of his family—he is safe and protected, no matter what will happen, by his loving family. Ben was anxious and worried because he wanted to know two things: first, is the world really going to end, and second, when and how. Yet, nobody gave him the answer. Maybe the reason was nobody cared. Or most likely it was because nobody really knew. At the end of the story, Ben was comforted. However, the fact remains: man may be bothered or not, the world is still going to end. Both the bible and science predict the coming end of the world. Still, no one can tell exactly and precisely when and how is it going to be. How? Through intensified natural calamites? Or through giant meteors? Another flood? No one can tell us how. When? Definitely, today’s situation is not a guarantee. Scientists say it will be in 300 years. What if it happens next year? Or next month? Or the next day? Man is anxious because of this certain uncertainty.
Second, that man is precarious about identity is portrayed in The Day the Dancers Came by Buenvenido Santos. Filemon “Fil” Acayan is a Filipino who is now living in America with his friend Tony. Basic to Filipino impulse abroad is being eager to socialize with his kababayans (co-Filipinos). Fil, in order for him to have moments with them, invites the Filipino dancers but he is always rejected (perhaps because of his approach, but anyway, his invitation was never accepted). This makes him feel miserable. The only thing that makes him feel better is his recorder—a record of his conversations with Filipinos and Filipino songs for the dancers. One day, this recorder was broken by his friend Tony, who has a disease which makes him awkwardly white and who doesn’t like to see Filipinos because he believes he is an American. Then, Fil realizes his full and final separation from the country and nation he loves. The story shows two people with the same origin, Philippines, and the same present location, America, yet with different struggles about their identities. Fil wants to see Filipinos because he still feels he is one of them, while Tony loves to go out with Americans because he thinks he belongs to them. Nevertheless, it is so ironic because Fil is rejected by Filipinos and so is Tony rejected by Americans. Both of them are discarded by the people they think they belong to (poor them). Identity holds no warranty for people with diverse and hybrid cultures like Filipinos. Hence, many Filipinos are uncertain about their identity. On the one hand, if he says he is a Filipino and takes a closer look to how he behaves and acts, he would sooner realize he is Western. On the other hand, if he says he’s Western and takes a look at the mirror, he would realize that he looks Filipino. Thus, whichever identity he takes, it is not an assurance that he firmly fits there. So what really is a Filipino identity? Who knows? I guess (still uncertain), nobody does.
Third, that man is precarious about emotion is illustrated in Manuel Arguilla’s Heat. Mero, a man about 19 or 20, discovers something unusual one morning as he wakes up and gets to his friend Polo’s place. He feels something strange. He can’t stop himself from looking at Meliang’s body and can’t stop thinking about her. At night, the feeling intensifies—as he close and open his eyes, still Meliang is all he sees. He goes out from the house, and then he starts to ask himself what’s the matter with him. Later that night, while he holds her around the waist, he finally had the chance to reveal to Meliang what he ought to say: “Meliang, you are so beautiful.” Throughout the story, one can neither read “love” nor “lust” (it’s not certain). What is certain is a strange feeling Mero had toward Meliang. He, however, was not certain about it—does he feel love or mere physical attraction? Or worse, lust. (Who knows? The protagonist isn’t even sure). Man’s emotion can’t ensure anything: this time he feels this, next time he feels that. In fact, one of man’s most uncertainties is emotion. Man’s emotion seems to have a life of its own; it can’t be controlled—nobody can control his feeling, that’s for sure. One day, one wakes up hating the thing he used to love; or loving what he used to hate. If one feels good today, nobody can guarantee him that he would feel the same the next day. What is he going to feel then? Nobody knows.
Then, Edilberto Tiempo’s The Grave Diggers depicts that man is precarious about survival. Agustin grows with good ethics and morality nurtured to him by his family. He is poor and his wife is sick and is absolutely dying. He apparently has no choice but to join the group of grave diggers. This job seems to be fine until he finds out that the group has no respect for the dead. He learns that after digging, they would steal precious things like necklaces. He considered this an act of immorality. Hence, he doubts if he has to join. Nicolas, one of the diggers, keeps on forcing and rationalizing him—that it’s justifiable to do it because the dead is dead and so is not going to need those precious materials anyway. Considering his status and his wife’s condition, apparently Agustin is left with no choice. At the moment, he is not certain on how he can feed his family and how he can sustain the medical needs of his dying wife. Thus he goes out with the group. One night, while doing the job, Nicolas gets a skull and drinks from it. The skull becomes a glass from which the group would drink. Agustin can not stand this insolent act, so he goes away. Life can’t assure man of survival. One day he’s alive, next day he’s dead. Food, money, accidents, diseases—these are some of the reasons for man’s death. In response to this, it has been long proven that human instinct for survival is more powerful than morality. This gives us the explanation why many people turn to be deceivers, liars, corrupt, and most of all, thieves. They all want to survive. Still, people die. But this story rejects the concept of immorality for survival sake. Agustin, after seeing that indecent act, walks out. Yes, he is able to remain righteous and morally upright. However, the fact remains: he has no money to support and sustain his family, especially his dying wife. Man may be immoral or moral, still survival is not certain.
Finally, The Cargo by Anthony Tan shows that man is precarious about circumstances, although he has nothing to do with it. Asmawil is in dilemma: if he’s going back home, he and his family (wife and children) are going to face death; and if he doesn’t, he’s not going to see his family ever again. Asmawil is uncertain if he’s going back home or not because he has already anticipated what most probably would happen (which is also uncertain), that every person in the village is going to accuse him as the primary suspect. Every man, except him, in his ship is dead. He actually did nothing. He did not even want the tragedy, nor did he even think it would happen. Although the death of men in his cargo is neither of his will nor action, still he suffers the uncertain consequence. He was just sailing with his people in the ship, and everything seemed to be perfect and peaceful; suddenly, something terrible happened—his men got killed. He did not know such tragedy would occur in his ship. And it really did. Life has no guarantee. Now may be peaceful yet a second later can be tragic. Nobody knows. Who does? Sometimes man suffers what he does not deserve. And worse: the most painful suffering is the uncertainty of what the present suffering might bring him.
Because there’s no guarantee, human condition is always precarious in different angles: about the end of the world, identity, emotion, survival, and circumstances. All these uncertainties may be present in life, but man has to realize he should not be shaken. R. I. Fitzhenry declared, “Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don’t let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.” Man may want to quest for certainty yet it blocks the search for meaning. He has to know that uncertainty is the very condition to impel him to unfold his powers. Vincent van Gogh, a Dutch painter, one of the greatest of the Post-Impressionists, pronounced: “For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.”